You know, it's days like today that make me wonder how I will get through. I see so many of my friends who are falling in love and getting married and some are starting tl have kids. It hurts so bad knowing that I cannot have that in a responsible way. I never had a wedding to show off and I didnt have a beautiful wedding gown or wedding pictures. I cannot be proud of my marriage since we have gone through so much and we never had a home or anything to call ours. I couldn't even keep our daughter alive and that kills me inside. I don't have a family to show for our 4 years of marriage. I feel like a complete failure because of that but also because I am a wife with no home to take care of or present to anyone. Part of my duty as a wife is to keep house and make it look presentable and homely. But how can I do that when we have no home and the house is not mine? There are just so many things that sre blocking my view of this marriage and I know it is my fault, but its so hard to think otherwise.
No comments:
Post a Comment