I have not felt like writing much lately because I have needed to deal with things on my own. But I have gotten to a good point in life that I never thought would be possible.
Sometime last week, I got curious and decided to look up my ex fiancee and see how he is doing. He had posted a picture of his girlfriend on top of his truck and you know what? I was truly happy to see him happy. That was the first time I didn't cry when I saw his picture or him with his girlfriend. he had finally forgiven me in August for everything that I had done and that weight was off my shoulders. But the main issue was me learning to forgive myself.
When you can see a picture of your ex with someone else and you smile, you know you have come a long way. Forgiving myself seriously has been the hardest part but I am getting there. I have made a lot of progress and that means a great deal to me. I feel like I can finally live my life and not drown myself in my past mistakes. I still love him very very much, and I know I always will. But I can look at him and be happy to see him happy. :) I love that man with all my heart and now I can be thankful that he has found someone who can make him just as happy as we used to be. I was so afraid that he wouldn't be truly happy again. And while it pained me to see that he was on the healing track, I am so glad he isn't hurting and isn't letting the past get in his way.
