Strength

     For people who have read my posts, you know that I have been through certain things, and even more that I have not thought to post out here. Even with being abused, lied to, bullied, having lost a child, and been though illness after illness; I have never lost my character of compassion, care, love, sympathy, empathy, or anything else. For a while there when I was still living with my husband, I had become bitter. I became extremely bitter to the point of lashing out at him because that's what he has shown me all those years and same with his family. I became the kind of company I had lived with. I finally realized this one day and I didn't want to be that person anymore. I would always want to go to my parents house so I could be around a family filled with love. Yes, we have our own problems and flaws, but we have never let that stop us from being the kind of family God wanted us to be. We have been redeemed by His blood and we carry our sins and burdens to the foot of the cross often.
     It has been 11 months since I decided that the best thing to do was file for divorce. After my husband got out of jail for the suspended license issues, he came out a changed man since I had told him of my intentions. Since that September, he has only let his anger get to him once with me. He had completely changed his attitude towards me and has grown a heart that wants to be tender and loving. He has also spent more time with my family and I think it has helped in the long run because all his family does is curse and fight, mainly with his dad. This is an important step for my husband to be able to grow into the man I know he can be. He had somewhat tried more with trying to get a job, but nothing has happened in that department. I told him that he has until July when I can file to get a job and prove to me that he can do it, or I file since I truly have no other option. I have thought about staying separated but married, but with that we wouldn't be talking and I know he would just find another girl. That's what he does. So if he did that, I would definitely file for divorce on grounds of adultery if I were to have enough proof.
     So even though he has hurt me physically and emotionally and mentally, I have been able to get through and overcome it. I have become the person on top to be able to overcome such an obstacle and not let it change me into a person who has nothing to lose. I am letting my situations be a beacon for those who need help. I am here to help anyone who needs it since I know what they have gone through or are currently going through. But this is the kind of person I am. I am an extremely compassionate person who wants to help anyone who comes in my life. God was gracious enough to give me a mother who passed that on to me. I don't see it as weakness, but as a strength like no other. It's Christ's strength in me that has helped me through everything. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, this is true. My God has supplied for all my needs so that I can be able to help others see that.
     That is how I am different from other people. Even with being hurt so much, I am never the kind of person to reciprocate that feeling. This is the strength I have and the kind I want to see everyone else have as well. We are all capable, but are we all willing to do what is necessary to be that way?