To the start of a new year: 2013

     Well, it is now 2013. I must say that 2012 was a bit of a nasty year but it was also good at times. There will always be ups and downs, but you just have to keep moving forward. 

     This past year, I finally got the courage to do stuff that I needed to do pertaining to my husband, including finally putting my foot down about certain things. I also got my license back after not being able to drive for two and a half years mostly due to having fainting spells and seizures. I got rid of some friends who were nothing of the sort and I gained some new ones that are very dear to me. I am managing my money better and am starting to save for vacation coming up in June as well as a car that I desperately need. My husband lost his grandmother and I lost a very dear friend who was a second mother to me. I have tried to teach my husband what it truly means to be married and to really work through things yet also learn from mistakes (both of ours) and move on together. I have gone through more trials this year than I have in a while, and I know that I have failed some of them. Okay, maybe a loy of them. I have realized that I react to certain situations that get me into more trouble since I was never taught how to handle these things. I have learned that I need to change things in my life so I can try to figure out what God wants me to do.

     This new year, however, is not going to be an easy one either. I will be tested and I will be tried. I plan to change my attitude when situations occur, I need to get a second job and either help my husband get into his responsibilities and other duties, to hold him accountable for his actions, or to separate for good and to help teach him further that his actions have consequences and how to truly treat someone with love and respect. I need to cut my cursing, especially in front of my parents, and to not come to conclusions as I do a lot of times. I also need to not let things happen because I have let it go on for so long. 
     I see a tattoo here in my not too distant future along with not being so emotional (good luck, right?). I would like to start dancing again so I am hopefully going to do that and maybe even start college again.

     I know that I'm not asking for material things, honestly, but all I need is love, affection, and passion. I have learned that for some people, it is really hard, but if you truly love that one person, they are truly worth it.

     Well, that is all I have for right now, but I wish everyone a very Happy New Year. May God bless you and keep you safe on this new start to life. Happy 2013! 

Intro: Why?

     Seeing as this is my first time blogging or writing my true feelings out in public like this in detail, I just wanted to explain what made me finally do this. What made me realize that I needed to basically keep a journal again? 
     I may only be 21 but I have been through a lot. I have gone through more trials than most do within their lifetime (I hate to put it that way, but a lot of people have told me that). I have fought with depression for a long time and I have become more stressed through these past years. I used to spill out my feelings on paper in the form of poems. Unfortunately, the passion for doing that has died down. 
     I want to somehow get my story out there and I feel like this is not only a way to do that, but also to finally be able to tell my true feelings since I can't always describe it in words, specially to certain individuals that I need to. I hope that through this, people will learn that they are not alone. Yes, we go through things differently, but we can always help each other get through and to be there for each other. No matter your circumstance, you are never alone. Hopefully, my story will inspire others and give them hope.